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The Good Muslim Husband

'A believing man must never hate a believing woman if he dislikes one trait in her he will find another trait in her with which to be pleased'.

It is absolutely vital in a good Islamic marriage that the wife respect her husband otherwise the marriage will be miserable. Since one of the basic ground-rules of Islamic marriage is that the husband is the imam and the head of the household he has to prove himself worthy of that position.

It is not true that a Muslim wife is expected to obey her husband in every single thing he says. If the husband attempts to order her to do anything that clash with Islam it is her duty not to obey him but to point this out and to change his orders. Therefore if the wife is to respect her man, he must do his utmost to be worthy of and to merit that respect.

Many women wonder why it is that a man should ever be considered as head of the household. In Islam this concession to the man is of vital importance. It is part of God's plan; part of his ordinance. It was ordained long before the revelation to the Prophet Muhammad. It was stressed in Christianity as well for instance in one Christian text it is mentioned 'Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as if to the Lord because a husband is head of his wife as Christ is head of the congregation.'

In His final religion Allah has requested that wives obey their husbands and pay them respect in every matter that does not conflict with His will. Indeed the Prophet once said that if it had been possible for him to order a human being to bow down to any other human being he would have asked wives to bow down to their husbands.

A good Muslim husband is not chauvinistic or arrogant as he is also under authority -the highest authority of all. That authority has commanded him to be humble, modest, gentle, kind and compassionate. It has not required him to go ordering around the whole object of which might seem to be to get out of doing work himself or to see all the activities of the members of his household centred on his own comforts and pleasures.

Muslim husbands have the Blessed Prophet himself as their example and they are expected to try to be like him and to the extent that they succeed in being like him do we find the respect issuing naturally from their Muslim wives. The more civil and kind a Muslim is to his wife the more perfect in faith he is. Many husbands fail to realize that the main worker within the family is the wife. She must never be taken for granted for her payment is so often not money at all but being noticed, appreciated and loved. Husbands fail to show the needed consideration and love to his wife. No matter how much a man may actually love his wife, if he doesn't show it she will not feel loved. No matter how much he does appreciate her if doesn't show it she will not feel appreciated.

The man has to show the protection, the maintenance and the strength before he receives the obedience and the coorperation.Good Muslim husbands and wives both realize that everyone is capable of making mistakes of not being perfect and both should consider each other's right and requests with an open mind and humility. The Prophet emphasized this time and time again.

How can you tell if you are being a good husband? What does a good husband have to do?

Well he has to be a good provider to the best of his ability. Islam is very keen on men earning striving and supporting and not depending on others. 'What a man spends on his family is a Sadaqa and a man will be rewarded even for a morsel that he raises to his wife's lips.' He is not one of us who possesses money but keeps his family away from his wealth.

Husbands should be alert to the cost of living and make sure that the allowances they give their wives are reasonalble.If the husband just hands over the barest minimum and keeps everything else for his own pleasure this is not fair.Being a good provider also means that the husband should not waste his money or fritter it away.

Husband should work hard to provide the physical needs of his household but he should put his ultimate effort not into riches and material things which will pass away but into the service of God through loving his wife and family teaching them and building up their spiritual lives together.

The husband who honours his wife does not treat her as an inferior being. The Prophet told men to feed their wives with the same food as they received themselves and clothing them with the same sort of clothes -if the husband likes expensive and stylish things he should not spend only on himself and left his wife.

No husband or wife is ever perfect but when a husband shows love and thought for his wife and acts in accordance with the principles of Islam he will surely earn not only her love and respect but that of Allah Himself.